A Smattering of Thank You Notes

Dear Curtain Rod in my Bathroom,

Thank you for falling on my head when I had my arms full of laundry and was defenseless against your attack.  And thank you for doing it just as I was trying to move myself up a number or two on the Valentine's Day scale of attractiveness.  My head was getting a little too big and big heads just aren't attractive.  (For the record, big heads with bumps aren't that pretty either.)

Sincerely,

The Girl Seeing Stars

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Dear Hammer,

Thank you for smashing my thumb into oblivion when I was putting the curtain rod back up.  It took my mind off my throbbing head.

Fondly,

The Girl Typing With Nine Fingers

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Dear Papa Murphy's Take n' Bake,

Thank you for making heart shaped pizzas for girls like me who should never, ever, ever be allowed near the oven.  It was nice to give my special someone something edible for a change.

With love,

Me, My Hubby and Our Full Bellies

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Dear Google,

Thank you for putting this little graphic on your page for Valentine's Day.  You sent tons of traffic to my LOVE post.  What a nice Valentine's Day surprise.

Loving You More Than a Google,

The Girl Who Will Now Stop Obsessively Checking Her Blog Stats

A Bundle of Thank You's

Dear Apple,

Thank you for building a very sturdy Mac Book.  I discovered just how sturdy mine is when I was happily typing away on my couch and a big, black spider crawled across my bare arm.  Naturally I shrieked, jumped up, and inadvertently threw my Mac Book to the floor.  After I'd finished shrieking and doing the heebeejeebee dance, I picked up my computer and was delighted to find it was none the worse for wear.  Job well done, Apple.

Sincerely,

The girl who will try not to throw her computer again

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Dear Terry,

Thank you for shaking out my couch blanket until the monstrous spider revealed itself.  Thanks for only saying once how tiny it really was and for not arguing with me when I insisted it looked much bigger close up.  And thank you for stomping the spider into oblivion.  I was only a little grossed out that you stomped it with your bare foot.  Your chivalry is much appreciated.

Love,

The girl who will try not to be so shrieky

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Dear Spider,

Thank you for crawling on me when I was awake instead of crawling in my mouth when I was asleep.  I'm sorry your trip did not end well.

Cordially,

The girl who is not that sorry

Dear Sore Throat,

Dear Sore Throat,

Thank you for arriving in full force today.  Yesterday you were just an aggravating tickle, meaning that I ignored you while I cleaned the house, did laundry, went to a birthday party, ate dinner out, and went to the movies.

But today you will not be ignored.  And while I prefer that you not visit at all, thank you for arriving today, a day when I had nothing on the books.  I bundled up in my bathrobe and sent Terry on an emergency Kleenex run.  I transformed the couch into a Fortress of Sickitude, complete with throat lozenges, blanket, tissue, teddy bear, and sole possession of the remote control.  Then I hunkered down for a day of napping, reading, and watching Sixteen Candles for the infinitillionth time.

Having said that, Sore Throat, I would really appreciate it if you'd pack up and leave today.  Let's face it, you are not all that helpful when I'm trying to teach a roomful of little ones.

Sincerely,

Alicia, Queen of the Fortress

Dear Little One,

Dear Little One,

Today I sat down next to you to see how your writing was going.  You were writing a letter to a friend.  You winked at me and told me you'd put one in my mailbox, too.  Actually, you haven't learned how to wink yet, but you blinked with purpose and I got your drift.

You stopped writing for a moment, cupped my face with both of your hands and said "I just love you, Mrs. McCauley."  And then you hugged my neck.  You smiled and I saw the window where you'd lost your first tooth.  I hugged you and left you to finish your letter.

After school I had to deal with an angry parent.  And then I had to deal with a student who is being untrustworthy.  I left school drained of all joy.

And then I thought of you.

I thought of your little smile, your little hands, and your big heart.  You are the reason I teach, little one.  Thank you for reminding me.

Maybe tomorrow I'll teach you how to wink.

Love,

Mrs. McCauley

Dear Nike Chalkbot,

Dear Nike Chalkbot,

Thank you for making the Tour de France route the best thing I've read all summer.  And that's saying something because I read some fantastic books.  But you, Mr. Chalkbot, have inspired me.

You gave me a voice during a time of grief.

You told me that I was not alone in my loss.

You helped me rediscover my belief in miracles.

You reminded me that hope is stronger than illness and death.And reminded me that love is strength.

I've never known a robot as wise or as filled with compassion.  I hope you find many roads to write on in the future because I love reading what you have to say.  Keep rolling strong, Chalkbot.

Love,

Alicia

Dear Granny Panties,

Dear Granny Panties,

Thank you for covering my, uh, real estate when an unexpected gust of wind lifted my skirt all the way up my back.  Your vast expanse of fabric kept me from experiencing yet another humiliating underwear incident.  I am profusely grateful, as are the other people walking into the grocery store at that precise moment.

Love,

Alicia

Dear Shark Week,

Dear Shark Week,

Thank you for being at the beginning of August so I can lay around all day and watch sharks without feeling guilty.  As I've mentioned before, you rank in my top three favorite weeks of the year right next to Easter and Fourth of July.  Now don't be all mad that you don't have the #1 spot.  Resurrect the Son of God or shoot some fireworks and then we will talk.  At any rate, I love you, Shark Week.

Love,

The girl in the shark socks



P.S.-To buy a 'Live Every Week Like It's Shark Week' t-shirt, click here.  And then call me so we can wear them on the same day and be twinsies.

Dear Group Power...

Dear Group Power,

Thank you for making my arms feel like they've been fighting hordes of ninjas.  Underneath all that pain, there might actually be muscles.  My arms are too sore to do any housework, so thanks for that, too.

Love,

Me and My Spaghetti Arms