My dear friend, Emily, started a month of blogging about all she has to celebrate. I like the idea of taking the 30 Days of Thanks challenge and kicking it up a notch.
For me the difference between celebration and thankfulness is that thankfulness is usually a condition of my heart, something I can choose to show or keep to myself. Celebration implies action. Have you ever seen someone celebrate while sitting still and quiet? Neither have I. 'Celebrate' is a jubilant verb just itching to do something.
As Emily pointed out over in her neck of the woods, it's pretty easy to celebrate when life is going well, but not so easy to celebrate when life is delivering a clobbering. That's true, but I also find that when life is good, I take a lot of things for granted. So, I'm hoping this month will help me realize how much I have to celebrate, both on days that are easy and on days that present me with difficulty.
Today I celebrated the first official day of summer vacation. I'm celebrating finishing up a year that was equally rewarding and difficult. For the first time in my career, my skill as a teacher was called into question. I often found myself defending what I know in my heart to be best for children, what I know deep in my bones to be right. This constant self-defense left me worn out. And sometimes when I laid awake at night, doubt would creep in. Doubt about continuing to teach. Doubt about whether I should have ever gone into teaching in the first place. It's funny how the tiniest seed of doubt can grow into a terrible Venus Fly Trap, soul eating kind of thing.
A few days before school let out, three teachers from three different schools asked if I would help them plan for teaching first grade next year. I was delighted they thought of me and today I met with two of those teachers. It was a pleasure to share materials, books and ideas. I talked with them about the nuts and bolts of my classroom and some big picture stuff, too. As I shared with them, I could feel the roots of doubt being pulled out.
I am meant to teach. This I know for sure. Today I celebrate my peers who in asking for help, helped me remember my calling.
Alicia, you are one of the most talented, passionate, professional, kindhearted, concerned, informed, intelligent, and trustworthy teachers I've ever met (and I've been around a LOT of teachers). Your character is flawless. I sure hope those fears and doubts absolutely VANISH because this world and ALL of those children are 100% better off with you around. You touch the lives of children more than you probably know. I hope you let these words sink in, because I believe them to be the complete and utter truth. You are wonderful at what you do. Absolutely and totally wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Emily. I do take your words to heart. Your words mean a lot to me because you were in my class day in and day out. You saw it all and because of that, your words have weight. I absolutely think God was at work when those three teachers asked me for help on the very same day. He knew I needed to hear some truth. And that's something worth celebrating for sure!
ReplyDeleteYes you were made to teach!
ReplyDeleteIt's in your genes.
I wish you were one of Casey's teachers.
Everybody doubts what they are doing. In doubting we can ask our self if we are going in the right direction. And it's always good to check your direction to make sure the destination can be reached. Without doubt and self examination we can make the wrong turns.
You have much to be proud of.
Thanks, Chris. That's so true about using doubt to check my direction. I've done a lot of that this year and while it wasn't fun, it was also really good to ask for confirmation and receive it so many times.
ReplyDeleteAlicia,
ReplyDeleteI too am a teacher. I am a reading consultant and have many times been questioned as to my "expertise" by those looking for a formulaic, quick fix way to teach writing rather than using a writer's workshop model. It is during those times, that I begin to doubt myself as well....leading to many sleepless nights. But then I ask myself what is best for children.....and I know that teaching them the "formula" may be the beginning, but if we stop there, we are not exposing them to the opportunity to become true writers.
Good luck to you as you continue reflecting, questioning, examining....this is how we grow as professionals.
Lori, everything you say rings so true for me. Thanks for the encouragement to continue to reflect on what is best for children.
ReplyDeleteDon't ever stop teaching!!! I followed the path from teacher to administrator to program and policy monitor with the US Dept. of Education. The thing I miss the most are the children and their families. Hang on to what you believe is true and continue to push back.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a great teacher and I admire the way in which you bring out the best in your students, even the challenging ones. You give them not only tools for learning, but tools for living responsible lives. Your every action demonstrates how much you love each child that God assigns to your care. Keep on doing what you do so naturally.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mom.
ReplyDelete